Uhh, still having trouble with this. STILL here..a few reasons why and none of them quite good enough. OK I dont get gang stalked in downtown SD and now I am seen with friends every waking minute I dont get any action outside of downtown either. But So Cal is still a place that brings on depression in me- heavy depression. Especially at the height of sun during the day. I noted this depressive effect driving through in a rig before I made it down here for the winter.
Its the need to let your brain drain out and become a zombie to survive the social environment. I feel much better after dark and usually from 12-4 or 5 I just want to sleep or die depending on how hot it is. So Cal promotes unhealthy living. I am sure the popular ideal of healthy living coming from Cali is either old school or is in some other part of Cali..or perhaps just for rich people. Being able to afford living healthy is NOT healthy living. It should be from the street level up..a sensibility like New Englanders have where food, sun, the ocean, the seasons and the snow all contribute to making one hardy to survive through anything.
Also southern California is depressing due to it being a state of sameness. It all looks the same. Its all mostly modern as well. They dont turn old buildings into something else..they just knock them down and build something else.
Another thing is that being as homeless person, socially there is no place for you here. You're totally marginalized. Poor people and street people here are segregated from the rest of the population. Unless you are totally geared out and 21 with a guitar and you look like a traveling kid- the perception of a wanderer or nomad just escapes everyone. They just see poor white. And here poor white does not gain respect due to European ethnic culture such as Irish, Italian etc. If they hear your accent or see your ID people back the f*ck off quick but the perception of whites out here still equates with weak and afraid if not backed up by wealth. Its reeaaallly annoying. But I have to agree that in this area I have not seen many whites that look really respectable or tough. Whites dont ban together here to form a power structure against the upper classes or other aggressive ethnic groups. Mexicans are the least of my worries. They only suck in Phoenix and New Mexico in my limited experience. Perhaps I just havent run into any bad situations yet. Many of them across the border seem to know me. Who knows anymore.
Its hard to hook up with travelers becuz I am focused on writing. I also dont smoke pot, drink or want to hang around all day or steal. I approach panhandling like a serious business enterprise. I am also much older than a traveling kid.
There is also this perception that women shouldnt travel alone here.
In SD I have encountered women who talked about being houseless with the attitude that women usually do not do this by themselves. Its strange to me to experience women admitting or being conscious of male company. This is something you dont touch on in Boston, its private. Any woman who is overly dependent on a man is..it just not something I recall street people making a big focus of. In SD couples are very popular as if having a man with you is a necessity to being outside the system.
But sadly due to the parties involved in my campaign NY- a place I may have been extremely happy that always suited my tastes and temperament much moreso than Boston- is a place I am not allowed in. It was one of the worst places for organized stalking and harassment.
The following is so true:
"drew "the pork master" m. says:
NY is like LA's judgmental, overbearing older sister. Deep down, NY loves LA and can't live without it, but always has to prove that it's smarter and wiser. Even when it's FUCKING UP and sucking. Back in the day, NY sort of had a case. Back in the day, NY was a real -respected- city. A force to be reckoned with. Great movies were made about how fucking serious NY was. Warriors, Escape from New York, 1990: Bronx Warriors. You didn't fuck with NY!
NY would say shit like, "You're all plastic and dumb LA! I have art, music, lots of hookers and crime! And the deuce! Grow up!". Then what does NY do? Yes, get's all plastic and dumb. Secretly jealous of LA, rips its own heart out and invites Disney to move in. Plants the seed of Beverly Hills in Soho, and lets it spread all over downtown! WTF?? Then some planes crash into her dick, and she goes batshit! All she has left is the H8orade. Tragedy.
You have to pity NY. I do."
The Warriors..what a great damn movie. Interesting the way it kinda resembles fighting as a TI. Its also interesting to consider that perhaps some design somewhere is to rob people from the northeast of their exclusive culture and thier mental toughness and natural fight. The NWO doesnt want warriors like this: Jews taught to continue to operate outside the system, Irish or Italian still regarding the system as suspect, with disrespect or as something to beat. They want PC, corporate culture with obedience to the NWO, not wildness, laser beam focused intellectual ability and an innate understanding of politic even in the poorest and uneducated...and poor Euro immigrant fight still left over from terf wars with other cultures..and 'the Old Country'.
America is being made into something else very different from what alot of us are used to and no matter what we do it will happen as well as most people will believe it is good. I dont think there is anything anyone can do about this. Every president keeps mentioning a NWO. Anyone paying attention has seen Elder Bush, Obama and son Bush all mention NWO on tv at some point. I dont know if Clinton ever did.
As the system becomes our nanny and gets into our business and our heads more and more, telling us what is good for us and what we need to do to function, fit it and be 'normal' the more we become like a hive with one common standard for success, sanity, social acceptability and happiness.
Cali is sort of like this anyway. They lack the Irish acceptance of insanity or eccentricity as amusing or normal part of life or a person's character. They lack the Italian acceptance of human failings or passionate outbursts as part of daily life. The Jewish compassion, maternal caretaking. The WASP understatment, quite compassion or respect for privacy.
The African Americans back home and in the midwest are perhaps much more politically aware and aware of corruption.
The lack of intelligent conversation as well as the unhealthy living, the marginalization from any other social group as well as the heat and not being allowed in most places or not being left alone for 5 minutes (even in places where yer left alone there is a sense of NOT being left alone. Or the lingering of extremely low status, like a lingering stink in the air that follows you everywhere.)
Its pathetic and if you stay here your brains will melt, you'll become pathetic and you will most likely not mind and be very satisfied with all this. (amend 6/4/11:Pot is legal here as medical use and people can smoke in the street like I recall in the 70's. Its OK when combined with a still sane free society, but in this environment, it reminds me of stories I was told growing up about Nixon flying in marijuana to keep the college and university students stoned and quiet. One of the pilots of one of those flights told a family member that story so its not hearsay.)
Still I dont get harassed here and I have friends. This is the holding pattern I find myself in now. (amend 6/4/11: From my other posts its obvious that downtown is heavily managed by tech or chemtrails and tech so this is also hard to escape.)