As you know if you read this blog I am trying to make it clear that being a targeted person one of the things that the system does traditionally is drive the person into being destitute and homelessness may be part of that process. Today's homeless scene is the perfect place to marginalize someone and get them to the point where they are discredited. Its perfect to silence victim witnesses and whistleblowers.
Nowadays with so many mentally ill released from mental institutions being shut down, which started during Reagan's adiminstration, as well as crack cocaine being introduced into the ghettos there is a constant influx of people who are mostly out of it or on the fringe of society. Crack cocaine makes human beings more incoherent than heroin or powdered cocaine ever did. LSD is the only comparison of the insanity that is produced by this drug. Its one of the worst things to hit the urban populations in this century and there have been many 'conspiracy' theories over the years thought out by people from all walks of life- artists, politicians, urban dwellers themselves and intellectuals. It does smack of social control. And it reduces human beings to animals worse of than a lab rat who will keep pushing the same button to get the cheese until it kills them.
This has created a human cesspool and with the waning of any kind of sentiment from the 60's love child generation or the underground unity of the old hobo lifestyle during the 20's we are left with what society views as human garbage, to be taken out and ignored just like bags on the sidewallk.
The problem in my expereince is like any other business: middle management. The people who are on site or hands on administrating over the population directly are the greatest offenders and abusers of a system designed to help vulnerable, marginalized people. This design has flaws for sure as it allows exploitation of this population by white collar criminals and conartists at the administrative level, serves to perhaps further truamatize the population who it claims to serve and decieves the public who often give thier time and money to help the population in question. Often they are the ones who suffer most, not understanding why they give and give and still there are people lying on the streets.
As many of you who read my blog know I come from a welfare home but yet a family that had been given special privelege through its participation in organized crime. I am highly intelligent but very undereducated. And I am essentially a targeted whistleblower and victim witness. I am more fortunate than other 'Targeted Individuals' as if I were to even give a vague run down of my story, just the events that most people see plainly most people would appreciate my predicament. Everyone is adult enough to understand rich powerful men with vices doing anything to avoid exposure as well as dirty cops taking bribes to ensure their privacy with militant force if necessary. There are just some crime rings that cant be broken as too many legit people are benefitting from it. Its a joke to think that all crime can be solved. If you stopped all the criminal or black market economy businesses in the USA, that the police and feds actively help manage or leave untouched our economy would suffer worse than it does right now during this 'recession'. Its a simply matter of numbers; supply and demand.
I can not bring my life back to where I left it nor ever get my health or my youth back. I will most likely, continue to be shunned and live in exile for the rest of my life, in a kind of limbo where none of the people who helped put me here will ever have to deal with me, my testimony as a victim or a witness.
Many people are homeless due to this motivation by the system to protect certain people or enterprises. And that is not a fact that is in the publics mind as popular opinion.
The perception is that the 'homeless' consist of drug addicts, drunks, mentally ill people with disorders who for whatever reason refuse medication or help from the system, domestic violence cases and just plain lazy people who dont want to work.
Even though domestic violence victims as well as many people drinking and drugging could be survivors or revictimized trauma survivors they are not viewed as such by the public. These are people who due to various reasons have slipped through the cracks in the system and ended up 'on the street'.
Firstly, human beings have been nomadic longer than they have been housed and 'civilized'. When put under dire circumstances it may be in a human beings greatest interest of survival to go nomad. Then at that point, one is living out something so primitive in the human DNA that we become at odds with 'modern','civilized' society. We start to get in tune with other humans in a tribal way and commune with nature. We begin to percieve housed people who live and work in closed spaces as caged animals that exist in false environments.
I have often wondered if this is not the true motive behind mismanagement of the homeless population and their services. You have now become wild, ferrel and untamed and most likey very hardy and robust or resistant to disease if you do well on the street compared to many housed tamed humans.
I just wonder if this return of the human animal to a primitive state, perhaps unraveling strands of DNA or other changes due to being chased out of proper society into a primitive tribal survivor state, is not the greatest threat to the system and all social control inerhent in it.
People in power believe that if you destroy someone like me enough that we will bow down and know our place, which for me I guess is to believe that I am unattractive white trash. It doesnt matter how much of me they have destroyed I know that at one time I was very pretty, youthful and highly intelligent and could have had a very different life. The purpose of harssing some one into homelessness is also to try to make them beleive that you cant fight the oppressive system and trying is useless- resistance is futile. This is especially the attitude today after the Bush adminstration basically made all efforts at self defense and exposing corruption into the definition of terrorism.
It only stands to reason that the more the corrupt system takes from one that is incentive for them to expose such corruption in the system. The system is hoping that the person gives up and sees themselves as a loser, stupid, ugly, old, trash-worthless. They want to drain any and all fight out of the human being and getting the person into the homeless population is the best way to get the target to internalize these projected feelings of shame, guilt and humiliation.
If you have been robbed of your future there is no way one should ever let the system be unaccountable and escape without consequences. You are not aged due to your own stupidity but fighting a system that wants to keep you down. Rarely do people who fight as hard as I do get a hero's welcome, what we get is even more scorn and probably worse treatment by the system and those who work in it as they know that they are part of a corrupt system and that is who butters their bread.
The homeless get treated like criminals or naughty 'bad' children depending on which shelter one goes to. It is commented on by staff that we have the minds of children..that is becuz the system that handles the homeless and I mean that quite literall, actively employs brainwashing tactics used in other scenerios and instituions to reduce people, especially the women, to the level of children.
The homeless have no voice and its expected that the system will speak for them as it intimated that they cannot speak for themselves- as of course they are all mentally ill, drunk or on drugs or lying and making excuses for being lazy. This enforces these misconceptions and its on purpose it seems. The homeless are then effetively marginalized and Joe Public doesnt know about the many human and civil rights abuses that go on using his tax money or charitable tax deduction or his generosity. This goes for staff in many instances who are working a job that doesnt begin to pay what it should for dealing with people who have medical issues, psychiatric issues, trauma or maladjustment issues. In more diffuclut shelters, the staff often exist as soldiers in Vietnam or Iraq have, never knowing if they are going to encounter friend or foe.
Often in my work here in these blogs I am focusing on myself and what I have lost or what I go through. This is due to my own PTSD which I never had a chance to deal with due to ongoing circumstances and often I am experiencing continued harassment or just a lack of the tools needed to concentrate on anyhthing other than my immediate situation.
One of my books is going to be about revenge and very personal. The other book I plan to put out is going to consist of the injustices I have seen first hand living as a homeless person and a traveler who is houseless. The difference between the twow is striclty an issue of status and is akin to one being a street prostitute and being labeled 'hooker' or being a high class call girl who proximity to wealth and powerful men obviously gives her a bit more clout and protection. I have discovered that society only fears powerful men and thier wealth- never a woman on her own.
Though I would rather get on with my own life and try to regain some of my lost youth I feel that this book must be written as the prosectution and warfare against the homeless has basically solidified to having this population live in a police state in most of the 50 states of the USA.
It also adds cred to my other claims of targets being harassed by stalkers who seem organized and informed by authorities with access to intelligence on the target--if the homeless can be profiled and treated in a presribed manner in a great number
of cities in the USA in differing locations then this proves that our system has the technology, manpower, funds and motivation to target either individuals or a speicific type (via profiling) of individual from a group. Targeting the homeless due to profiling or even identifying the person as a vagrant or homeless indivudally as part of a campaign against 'the homeless' seems to be fairly easy to do in the USA nowadays.
Many people wonder why so many homeless sleep outside when there are shelters. A great number of them are non funtional and are banned from shelters. There is another kind of urban camper who choses to face the elements over taking part in the shelter system- people with above average intelligence who see through the system's mind games, control tactics and corruption and cannot will themselves into being oblivious, persons with very bad experiences with the system who have been conditioned to distrust any and all help given by mainstream society, many people who have been incarcerated cannot stand the similarity to an institution and amusingly refer to shelters as "jails". For people who are more the hippie traveler than homeless its a matter of cultural lifestyle and pride...they do not want to ever to associated with 'homebums'.
In some cities however there seems to be no hardcore Rainbow Family types around and the people who sleep outside resemble more of 'the homeless' type. There is a misery and lack of flow among the homeless or homebum type of houseless person. Besides the fact that the traveler is usually treated with more tolerance due to the fact they do not usually take to the cities servicds and they leave the area more quickly as they are just passing through. Also America being a shallow society in alot of ways, your average traveler is a young person in thier early to late twenties who is attractive as a romantic figure in the American mindset, from the memories of the 60' back to our earlier history of Hobos riding the rails. This is something luckily that America refuses to sell out to corporate America, the dreaded and almost mythical 'New World Order' and globalization. America still has its pride intact when seeing a citizen of our United States traveling freely without much money over this large continent. Its most likely tolerated well due to the romanticism of it and also its a testament to our ownership of the land. Only we have the privelege of bumming around in our youth across all 50 states that smaller countries only wish they had that much land. So its to a Capitalist mindset that this appeals to.
Becuz I look young when I am rested I can blend in with traveling kids or look like a traveler. However within the homeless scene I am then resented especially by staff. But traveling young people have a habit of not caring about much of anything jsut yet in life as well as doing stupid things to cost them time and loss of possesions as well as a liking of pot smoking. All this is just more obstacle for an older person who is trying to get substantial work done on the road.
Believe me, its my wet dream to find a traveling group that is either more age diverse or older who is very into getting work done AND having fun on the road. They would probably then label us a threat or terrorists or as such due to being that disciplined and focused.
Also I want to put out this work on homelessness becuz in my other work there is a very great chance of being discredited or systematically ignored due to its content and the claims I am making as well as asking society to believe a story that puts many credible wealthy people into a bad light just for the sake of one lower class middle aged, childless single female. I am not naive at the odds involved but I dont mind making the bet and playing the table.
Why not at least release something that puts forth some non threatening credible information. If one book cant help people maybe the other one can.
These are very female urges and tactics. The modern world seems to understand female very little. Why are we so predatory, greedy, sneaky, selfish or even unfaithful? Its my job as a woman to stay alive at any cost and if I have to use anyone or anything I will. It's in a woman's wiring to take the most money and anything else she can get and it takes all kinds of efforts at staying moral to be human and do otherwise. Its also very typical for a female to try to get her babies to live and be born into the world at the cost of her own life as I am doing with these books. It seems to me that what I am doing is akin to taking the sons of two different males as I am not sure of conditions being friendly for thier survival so if one does not survive perhaps the other will.
This is why the constant interference by the system as well as a largely male dominated faction is firstly never going to deter me and also serves as more obsticle. Men who know my situation and as if I am not going about things in the right way or that I am being irresponsible. Such is what humanity has devolved into when we live in a society that is afraid or ignorant about a female existing in a natural primitive state, which is curious considering it is a mostly male dominated faction that seems to be behind the actions that had driven me into this state to begin with.
Nature will never allow men to dominate women into true enslavement. Women have ways of getting around these things as well as countering them. Nature is the decider of who conquers and who falls,not male brotherhoods.
Being a homeless female the things that would be beneficial to me in mainstream society have proven to work against me in the world of homelessness- being white, female and attractive and not knowing how to hide my intelligence and play to the system as helpless. That is due to the fact I dont really want to be here and I am in a situation where I can never leave homelessness, at least that what has been proven over the years.
I often think that making a seperate blog about homelessness totally devoid of anything to do with being targeted would be a better idea but then it would be a misrepresentation becuz many people get helped by system out of homelessness and are homeless just for a short time in thier lives. My experience is not the norm but it is interesting to find over time that there are other people living as homeless persons who are not drinking, drugging or seem mentally ill. Many of them are targeted not directly by definition but have seen too much of the system's corruption such as formely involved in crime, vetrans of military service and war and many others who have just seen too much of the reality behind the scenes and are either silenced or dont want to take part in society ever again.
Mainstream society is also up to something since Reagan I notice- the effort to streamline our society and make it appear that human corruption does not exist when in fact it is not realistic to think that humans can exist without corruption. This has created an air of intimidation, sort of akin to a cold war, where no one says or does anything directly but there is awareness or covert action opposed to overt action. The presense of corruption has been so streamlined that its greeted with a yawn and the idea that fighting for justice is passe. That its naive and old school to point out and become passionate about injustice. This apathy and desensitization is something that new money uses as well as the upper middle class along with snobbery, to make themselves appear as having an air of indifference or superiority when it comes to human nature and the knowledge of worldliness. They are afraid, cant handle it and are being influenced into a herd menatality that says fucking people over and disregarding people is a luxury. A taboo one and since they want to be considered as having arrived, they are going to take part in this attitude. People become what they percieve themselves to be especially if a power figure has given them that new spot on the throne. When watching the Wives of Henry the 8th one day, BBC production as I wanted real actors not method actors, one of his brides is of a lower class but once she knows she is going to be married to the King one of the side characters mentions "Shes already walking like a queen".
Because of what is basically the destruction of our country and our culture, of privacy and the expectation of a fairly good life as an American citizen, people need to compensate or feel they are striving for that today. A way of doing this is to disregard others as you feel somehow you gain more for yourself. The homeless population is a scapegoat for a country that is being obviously purposely destroyed and that is by wealthy educated persons who know better.
In my book I also want to illustrate how the homeless population is made up of many demographics and some elements within this subculture are what make homelessness miserable for everyone and why Joe Public hates on the homeless. How in the world a simple but difficult transition to a primitive nomadic state of human existence could become so damn complicated...there has to be someone monkeying with the gears somewhere. By logic, without deception and interference..and corruption it should not be THIS difficult to exist in this state of being.
My writing is often scrambled or angry and if people knew the whole story they would understand why. I do not divulge all information becuz this is not the forum for it. I would go to waste here. And I dont want my only efforts on this lifetime to communicate effectively to go to any waste that is for sure. There has to be something of value to pull out of the ruination of my face, my body, my mind and my future. There must be something of value left in the rubble.
And I suppose I must admit I am fascinated by a subculture that can exist in this day and age with such ignorance, in a time where scientists can reduce molecules as well as tag diseases down to their components or our genes that contain defects. This is human error, this is the costant wrong doing and irresponsibilty of human beings and it is something that is not in fashoin to consider or look at. Part of the streamlining of society is to give the impression that we have arrived at a near perfect existence mostly due to science if not technology. Corruption cant exist now with the fine tooth comb being put like a net out all over the world by the likes of the police, the CIA, Mossad, the NSA, the FBI and military factions. I dont believe that society cares about corruption or crime I believe they care about being overt or sloppiness- they still tolerate corruption but they wont tolerate the mess. So its an attempt to return us to say the 50's or some other out of sight out of mind type existence. But in the 50's there were undergrounds one could go to and the authorities were not in your bedroom- though your neighbor may claim you were a Commie while peering into your house via peeking through thier curtains.
Now its like an effort to brainwash the public out of concern for corruption. That one does not challenge authority..Its like one big mood stabalized wet dream where everyone shouldnt worry just take you meds and 'be happy'. If the authority figure thought it was important then God..oops I mean the overlords..I mean the authorities would not be doing what they are doing.
Its less an evolving into techno perfection as it is a return to insanity.
I have had cops who are obviously deserpate to shut me down in Boston try to suggest (after I get attacked or some other suspect trauma) that "this is normal life ya know" and they say such things out of the blue or very off the cuff, with no conversation to build up to such a statement. The aim is to tramatize either the target to be oppressed or the entire population of the American people, to the point where no one will ask any more questions and any one who does is a mentally ill conspiracy theorist who needs to take thier meds and "just be happy"..or someone who is seeking attention and just being plain 'annoying' by pointing out things that the American public are obviously generally OK with...as long as you dont take thier stuff away.
If you really wanted to start a revolution in this country all youd have to do is take away people's technology and watch them freak out like babies seperated from thier Baba's and blankies. I dont know what the average person is experiencing due to my experience being so outragously illegal in its human and civil rights violations. Most people if they become homeless during this recession will most likely have a good experience with homelessness as the system knows that they have been good sheep and will continue to be so when they return to society after this bad patch.
I am seriously considering starting to only associate with chronically homeless people. But the people I get on with best are those who are newly homeless as I have retained by experiences as a housed person. Manyh chronically homeless annoy me as they are hustlers, drunks or have disorders that make them low functioning. Its hard to find other smart people who focus on activism. I think it may be wise for alot of us to start asking "how long you been out here?" or are you a long timer..something to that effect. Id like to see how that narrows down the demographics of exactly who is chronically homeless.
I also publish this blog as a supplement to thier info gathering that is used to define reality. So is on paper it says I am chronically homeless then you need only read here to understand why. The funny thing is that on those documents they never ask you to really explain your story...I of course only state that I had an uninhabitable apartment and my life situation became "unamanagable". If I was ever to be asked further, I would be glad to mention everyone from my old associates to crooked cops on the take, to all that crowds close association to the state Govenor at the time who would do anything, to anyone to get on the vice presidential ticket..thus the fedral busting of a money laundering ring being between his state and his running mate for President. And I will be glad to furnish details as well.
And that is just the COVER STORY! The other tale is one best left for a book that librarians or store owners can put either in non- fiction, fiction or sci fi with an inscription on the back cover "These events are based on true events and according to the readers experience in our culture can only you determine what you know to be true". Let the people decide for themseleves. (this blog is copyrighted dont steal that).