Orphans Wanted

Had to ditch that road dog i was with. He was most likely working to get out of trouble with the jail system. He could have just been a f*ck up, he definitely had issues with his mother and sided with dad, which most of the men i get are like this...that or closeted gay who cant admit it.

Traveling with someone was a good idea. But it has to be someone dedicated to real change, not some poser hippie who lives to be irresponsible.

The kid just could not take care of his own affairs. I havent been writing becuz I had to manage everything. He smoked some pot with this crazy old street hippie and i told him not to do anytjing like that outside of a safe situation, a controlled scene where anyone too crazy is 86'd, like Berkeley or Harvard Sq. I was asleep and he smoked the medical stuff out here in Cali. Then he started talking total nonsense. I don't know if the guy dosed him or if pot just brings out what could be really wrong with him mentally.

I brought up that he always acts normal, coherent and has nice conversation when his dad is around. Yet with me hes always whining about. walking too far, being hot in the sun (while wearing too heavy clothing ) and making planning our day as difficult as possible for me. It seems with me, his main goal in life seemed to be to sit around, be lazy, eat large amounts of food and pretend to care about activism. Yet, when around his dad who happens to have the keys to a house he can stay at and will send him money in an emergency, he is fairly normal and cooperative.

I dont think he was really a traveler. More a drifter. He would take too long to get used to environments-new places when we arrived. I travel for activism, to avoid being targeted in one place too long and to find a place to write my book and do more on my blogs. He just wasnt supporting that final goal. He acted like being with me was a chance to say whatever popped into his head and waste time.

I need to find people who like me are truly orphaned. I always end up with someone who treats me with disrespect becuz they have family they can ultimately fall back on. Julie, Jake, my mother, all the rich kids in NA were all like this. They stayed connected to really screwed up families just so they could have security.

I need people that are truly alone, truly fighting a large oppressive system like I am. Not lolligagging, wasting time and being mindless hippies.