I had written a whole post and the internet disconnected. This aircard does that a few weeks after you get it. It starts functioning differently and then it acts up in this manner. I should make sure I copy my posts before pressing any buttons.
This may be my chance to really begin homeless activism in earnest. This is the first shelter where the staff are very overt about harassing people and dont bother with mind games to seal the harassment so the person is trapped, like they would have to in other cities. I told you the homeless here are passive unless they are serverely mentally ill and I now see that is becuz everyone is afraid of the system claiming them mentally ill or the cops coming for them if they freak out in the way any normal human being would under such pressures. Here yelling in the street is not common or normal like it is back east due to some disagreement. The cops actually show up for this kind of thing and its part of keeping the large severely mentally ill in line.
However due to this any harassment from staff or authority is very lazy in nature due to them feeling there is already intimated intimidation from the system daily. Also the people here may not fight for themselves or seek revenge, they will speak up against overt rudeness or people calling other people names. Its a backwards world to me but thats the west coast.
I have posted about the noise or the card games from two staff members. However, these staff members are not totally unfair as they do tone it down alot when complaints are made and in dealing with them I have had only one incident where its the WAY the person dealt with me was off not what their actions were. And it was only once. They are smart enough to not do anything very overt as they have probably worked there for many years and know better.
The problem is with a woman named K. who works the late night to early morning for half the week.
She seemed the nicest staff at first but now thinking back I didnt like a few times when she touched me as she spoke to me...I mean it felt very gentle and soothing but she used it to gain control of a conversation we were having, to interject something. It felt like it was more a move of gaining control than true soothing of another human being. With my backround I am very vulnerable to people touching me and as now I am pretty isolated compared to my old life I am starved for touch. In other words it was manipulative and an unfair move.
I also liked her becuz she woke us up in the morning not by yelling time to get up but by coming over to me and gently pulling my blankets off my face. I thought she was really good for all the women as this city is so hard on us and we are most likely hard on ourselves anyway. Add to that the pressures of being around the severely mentally ill during the day. She was someone I admired for being very gentle and nice in the mornings to a population of tired oppressed people.
When I saw the women taking advantage of her I spoke up. When long time staff is working mornings the women will get their chores and cot stacking done ON TIME. Katelin had to chase after people and they were disrepecting her.
This is what happens when staff disrespects the population of women under their care and instead uses intimidation and mind games. It reinforces a jail mentality of corruption. They only respect the other staff's authority becuz they see them abuse their power. That is not respect that is fear. Homeless women all across the country have to play these games and fear corrupt authority constantly due to the system having no checks and balances, its also too easy to consider the person mentally ill due to a number of factors. Its an angle that corrupt authority will use to get away with thier actions and its always hanging over the homeless person's head.
After I told her that the women do what they are supposed to on other shifts and she shouldnt have to go through this she seemed to get the women under control a bit.
A few days ago however I started having problems with her. There was a switch on the wall where the fan plugs in in the bathroom. I cant breathe as well sometimes thanks to the damage to my lungs/chemical sensitivity and all the humidity from the showers and sprays/perfumes gets to me so I pay close attention to the fan as its left on or not turned on sometimes. I simply said to her that she didnt have to pull the plug out of the socket becuz behind the staff stall door (they have thier own stall- smart, huh?) there is a switch to flip off or on. Being from Boston and all those old buildings in the northeast I could tell by looking at it that one pull was going to destroy this plug. The post office is 100 years old here and to them that is foreign. There was this woman from NYC and she jsut stood there watching and we were thinking the same thing- this wiring is old school even for an old building. So K. pulls the plug out of the socket as she says that someone told her to pull it not use the switch, as she does the plug pulls out of the wall (its up above near the ceiling and you have to get up on the heater to pull it safely). She then says all frustrated "Thats not your concern anyway, Rachael". She leaves and the woman from NYC just looks at me and of course being from NY she has no problem blurting out "Thats a fire hazard!" in that accent I havent heard for years and miss terribly. (yes I have a witness if youd like to see into it a bit more).
As I walk out K. still insists that its not my concern.
I go off to get my bedding off my cot as they are almost to my cot to stack it.
Later that night staff tells me that K. wrote me up for not having my things off my bed in time for cot flips (stacking).
I tell long time staff J. the story and she agrees its ridiculous. Later on she told me that she sees nothing wrong with me telling K. about the light switch.
Other long time staff, Shy. told me that there are notes from someone in the morning saying I have trouble getting up in the morning. I assume its K. now but I would need to see the notes. This isnt really the case as K. has said something to me recently that "no exceptions can be made for you Rachael" when I am trying to get up. Its not even long after the lights go on she said that and there are instances every morning of one woman or a few women either not waking up right away or taking a bit of time to get up.
There is actually one woman, who seems to have a terrible cough but still chain smokes, who wakes up just enough to lean forward and sleep a bit probably her way of waking up.
She is usually still doing this when I get up.
Also I HAVE NEVER BEEN NOTIFIED ABOUT WARNINGS OR WRITE UPS and it was mentioned that I am supposed to be but this is not clear.
After this incident is when T.,from administration showed up in the morning. If it was to show that she wanted to help K. thats good. If it was a show of intimidation due to some baseless fear of me being vengeful or acting out that is very bad..for them becuz it makes them look even more unreasonable and guiltly. And I am not so petty. If I was none of the women here would like me, hang out with me or be nice to me. This crowd of women tend to get jerks outed pretty quickly so if I was like that I wouldnt still be staying here.
I have been avoiding K., just not interacting with her but I dont really interact in the morning as its hard for me and I want to focus on what I am supposed to be doing not socializing. But there has been no animosity..I just dont feel that incident was worth it. She really did nothing but react to perhaps feeling embarassed by pulling the plug off the wall..everyone makes mistakes and its not a big deal.
Last night when shifts changed I was in the bathroom as I had been working on that post all night long. I had signed up for a shower at 5:45 am and showers stop at 6 am. You can either shower at night or in the morn but not both, unless staff OKs it for a good reason.
I recall I went I was in the toilet and she was stacking toilet paper into the cuboard. I recall becuz I wished that she would finish and leave becuz I really had to go to the bathroom if you know what I mean. I didnt even know what time Shy. and J. got off shift. It was 11:30 pm and I thought they didnt leave until midnight..I dont know all the shift changes yet.
This morning I did my routine: Shower after getting up, go out in nightgown and pull off bedding for cot flips, put into cubby , get clothes, go back to bathroom to change. I do it this way everymorning as the number of women around me, the noise of TV, radio, and talking as well as the bright lights and the early hour would totally freak me out if I really paid attention to it. I wake up and throw on my mp3 to block it all out until I get outside and its nice and dark and quiet.
I was in the middle of my mindless routine changing into my clothes in the stall at 6:20am when I hear this voice asking "Who's in shower 1?". Its K. and she is accusing me of showering. I tell her that I am just changing as I do every morning at this time. She stumbles through what she is saying, as if its a lie that was not perfected or is failing out of nervousness. She fumbles and finally gets it straight: she claims that I showered last night as well. That she saw me coming out of the shower stall last night. I tell her that I saw her stacking tp but that was when I used the toilet not a shower.
I dont even think that she was there when I changed into my nightgown but this is the only logical explaination of what she might have seen...but she would have had to hear a shower running not just see me come out of the shower stall as we use them for changing rooms. They dont want the women changing publically in the bathroom.
She then stated"Thats why I am keeping an eye on you". She attacks me with this while I am changing myclothes at 6:20 and her rationale is keeping an eye on me due to claiming that I she saw me walking out of a shower stall last night. Walking out of a shower stall....thats it.
I then calmly approach the desk after finishing getting dressed. I asked her how its logical that I shower last night at 11:30 with staff on. She immediately says "Just walk away" like she has all the power. She then asks me "Do you want to be escorted out of here?". Everyone saw this at the table in front of the desk and thought it was ridiculous. That is when the other client told me about her doing the same thing to her and using the same threat.
I was startled by this so early in the morning and felt stress hit me. The reason I have to be so vigilant this time and perhaps get a lawyer if its bad enought is that the anaphylactic shock caused by the Bactrim is still present as a reaction to food allergies at this time but also as the doc warned me about, I cant become upset like in fight or flight mode. I started to feel my chest get tight and kept myself very calm. I do not ever want to deal with anaphylaxis ever again.
Also I did not like what Katelin gave for a rationale for her ambush at the stall: "That is why I am keeping an eye on you" due to her believing I showered twice.
First of all, I have witnesses who saw me slaving at the computer last night for hours as I was near the TV. Also how could I sneak a shower when showers end at like 9pmr so? And Shelley and Jane are on staff keeping an eye on things? Also by 11:30 pm we are supposed to be in our cots unless we have to go to the toilet.
There is no way anyone could sneak a shower in that time frame. When I left the toilet and Katelin was still stocking tp is was about 11:30 on the bathroom clock.
If one of the residents wanted to sneak a shower they would do so during nightly shower time when no one was listed in that time frame..I have seen women do it a number of times. 11:30 at night is not a wise time to try something like that, Shelly or Jane wud come in and ask you what the hell you were doing anyway.
Also other clients have had problems with this woman acting way out of turn like this. With witnesses. She even tried to exit someone and the girl is a nice kid and smart to: she told Katelin that she wasnt leaving without the police escorting her out. Katelin did not call the police and the night staff wrote it off as bs. Her threatening to call the police and not doing so shows an abuse of power or the use of it to threaten right there.
It was alleged by residents that this woman was giving a favored client rides to work and lending her money. This resident stayed there a year instead of the three months and I noted that this is the case with residents that regularly fraternize with staff. Those card games are like a doorway to some sort of initiation of acceptance and favoritism.
Another incident interests me..when there was going to be a community meeting a few weeks ago and Katelin was there the morning of, we got along well then, I groaned that I didnt want to show up that night ( it turned out to be informative and not a bitch fest at all), K. said quietly "With these women? Its going to be complaining about petty things". Right then I got a bit of insight into what she really thinks about homeless women.
It seemed like yet another person taking a job she feels is an easy paycheck where she can screw up and not be professional due to no one believing or supporting homeless people's claims.
Its almost like this place is forcing me to file a grievance. I dont want to as I dont want any trouble..but it seems to find me anyway.
There is no way I can take this kind of oppression lying down and if I am going to get phased out anyway into sleeping outside I might as well have it on paper. I just feel that documenting things is...its like the start of some whole big production that could end very badly. However since this is so overt and there are witnesses and other residents have had bad experiences I feel more confident in taking action.
It also may end in being the start of advocacy for the homeless that for once actually works.
I would need to get a lawyer if it escalates due to my condition induced by my reaction to Bactrim. The Rescue Mission has something in that basement where I find it hard to breath so I dont want to stay there and St Vincent's seems unhealthy due to all the homeless men constantly hounding women and there are druggies there.
I was told that K. is a temp but one of the other residents told me that she is hoping they will hire her full time. That is news to me and I just wonder if she is trying to establish authority for her future position.
I feel this is pretty much qualifies as harassment, especially saying she is"keeping an eye on me". Also as we left this morning she made sure she kept saying "I'll see you all tonite" repeatedly- like 'I'll be back again tonight' was the message.
This woman does NOT belong working with this population. She has a way of being very unfair and totally out of line and then hiding behind her authority. I dont see the other staff who have lasted doing that sort of thing and I dont see the other staff overtly upsetting people either. They may disregard the rules but they are also supportive of the clients and dont use threats to get their authority obeyed.
To be fair I have not written grievances and will do so. Here is thier website and they claim as part of their agency culture they are: Professional and accountable as well as Advocates for Social Justice. http://www.ccdsd.org/vision.php.
I need to give them a chance becuz I have not been harassed there and I do feel a certain safety both at the dayand night shelter that is worth salvaging. This shelter has one of the best programs I have seen for people in my situation. It gently gets you on your feet while making you feel safe and accepted in the process. It doesnt feel hard and cold like 'the system'. I feel that staff knows much of what I have been through and I get respect not harassment.
They are just experiencing some of the same problems very common in most shelters. I would feel like I failed personally and as an activist if someone that wasnt the best choice for the women stayed on there. Also a woman from CC showed up at the day center a few days ago claiming to be there as a lazon in case there was anything going on there.
My position is this. I have been through hell, my life has been destroyed and I used proper channels and it got me MORE harassed. I am done with all systems and trusting any system. If this problem could be fixed that easily it would have been by now as I am always hearing that things are toned down temporarily due to 'complaints'. I am not good at dealing with businesses to begin with and dont understand the rules of engagement. All I know how to do is target a problem in a system and correct it or destroy it. I dont deal with people, egos or insecurities well as the world has never given ME that consideration.
I am sick of playing footsie with this damn system. The non profits nation wide as well as HUD low income housing is corrupt as hell and people need to take charge of thier tax dollars or donations (not cut them) instead of villifying the homeless.
If you've decided that becoming 'homeless' or traveling is at some point a necessity to survive whether temporarily or as a permanent lifestyle you are not alone. Safe travels. Stay above water. © 2007-2020
2/22/10
Had it today
This is what the homeless scene looks like in San Diego. Unlike John Water's movies- it isnt funny at all.
(Amended and re written on 6/4/2011 at MIT:)
There was always something comical about the east coast, especially the states like from Maryland upwards, when they did bizarre things or when cultures produced eccentrics. Of course, being rebellious or being trashy in the old days was part of Americana. And it was a part that John Waters focused on, in order to piss off straight normal people, from both a queer perspective and from a Boomer one as well.
But this sort of trashiness has degerated into something else entirely since the 80's. In the 90's we sort of brought it back for ironic value but it had a sixties rebellion to it. There are forces in this country that I feel have allowed this subculture to degenerate into what we see today in such cities as San Diego. American cities are too expensive, too monitored and before these conditions came into being, too worn down and cracked out, also brought on by covert influence from these same factions (think Iran Contra- Reagan/Bush era CIA starts working with African American gangs and crack dealing.)
I suppose this is one of the origins of the YUPpie- a birthplace. Somehow that part of this culture, the corporate part is actually more mellow than back east. It seems almost desirable compared to the Hipster laden, gentrified 'revitalized' down town or Gaslamp area, which is in itself corporate owned.
Being out here, you get the feeling that corporate America is not all to blame for what is wrong with America. Its something else. Starbucks is what we now generalize as 'corporate culture' and we associate it with 'YUPpies' . Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, malls, The Gap, Ben and Jerry's...there is something distinctly different about those things than what is out here. Perhaps I just feel less threatened becuz theres alot of banking out here. Yet back east that also bugs me. There is something easy about working in the rat race here. Back east it is so damn status locked and so competitive- its just ugly. Ugliness covered up by a psuedo European beauty. Like Dallas I actually felt welcomed by some powers that be behind the money and companies here. Back east I am so hated, it makes existing difficult.
The horrid thing here is the way the homeless are mingled together with the worst kinds of mentally ill and criminals. Its really awful. There doesnt seem to be any sort of self policing or people breaking off into tribes like back east. In Cambridge if you cant behave and pull crap, you get thrown out of Harvard Sq. The cops know that which is why they leave people alone alot of the time. Here the cops dont get called enough and unlike back home there doesnt seem to be a paddy wagon with the white coats to take the crazies away.
The system seems totally disconnected to whats going on down here. The homeless live like medieval peasants. There is no kind of unity or solidarity among the homeless either to beat the system or to demand some respect for a certain group who perhaps does not want to live among the filth. Its not a good scene.
Its livable however as many blacks are more friendly and mellow than in other parts of the country, then again, the ones that arent have chimp outs of magnitude I have never seen in my life and hope to never see again. No one seems to have guns, just lots of fighting. Lots of male domination as well, women dont have any authority here like back east. Its not Celtic or Germanic or Italian in that way at all. Its Mexican, black and a bunch of poor whites who dont know who they are or where their ancestors are from. There are ALOT of blonde and red headed people out here, smallish, slim people who look alot like pioneer types from covered wagons in old movies. Perhaps only the smallish people survived the trip. They get very red from the Mex sun and all have beat red faces year round.
Its not a city where the homeless know how to live off the fat of the land if you will, like back east. They dont seem to form communities or carve out niches by force and then defend thier territory, with quiet back up from cops like in Cambridge. And the cops are always around Harvard. Here considering how violent and messed up this homeless ghetto is, there are not any cops on beats as there should be.
San Diego obviously wants this population and they want it the way it is- stoned, living in third world conditions and violent and very very kept down and ignorant. And VERY dependent on the system- giving people that live like this $900 a month to keep living like this from the state of CA when you claim your state is broke tells me there is a motive for that which must be quite compelling.
There are alot of kind people, that really remind you of the old perception of Cali from the 60's. But beware the damages from recent decades of politics and whatever else has caused this. Big Pharma is yet another contender for wanting this mess to exist.
Portions of this population could easily live in communities like the 60's but cultivating that is denied. WHY? Its as if subculture scenes are not allowed to exist here any longer. And like the rest of the geographic south western USA region, which this fits into- the services are faith based, further intimidating and brainwashing and controlling people into dependence on the system. Of course all faith based services get govt funding which is deceptive and a clashing of church and state I find disgusting. Its yet another way to ensure that people dont come together, becuz their god is there to handle things for you.
Well at least it replaces the CALI rep for producing dangerous cults I guess. Except for the ones that have alot of influence in this area, which are not goofy stupid cults either.
Church of Scientology, Satanists and the Navy all populate this area. Scientology being the worst. Though I like thier anti psychiatry stance. L Ron Hubbard's name is etched into some sidewalks and he was a Navy man. Also he broke away from his own creation so one wonders exactly who is behind the Scientology that is marketed to people.
(Amended and re written on 6/4/2011 at MIT:)
There was always something comical about the east coast, especially the states like from Maryland upwards, when they did bizarre things or when cultures produced eccentrics. Of course, being rebellious or being trashy in the old days was part of Americana. And it was a part that John Waters focused on, in order to piss off straight normal people, from both a queer perspective and from a Boomer one as well.
But this sort of trashiness has degerated into something else entirely since the 80's. In the 90's we sort of brought it back for ironic value but it had a sixties rebellion to it. There are forces in this country that I feel have allowed this subculture to degenerate into what we see today in such cities as San Diego. American cities are too expensive, too monitored and before these conditions came into being, too worn down and cracked out, also brought on by covert influence from these same factions (think Iran Contra- Reagan/Bush era CIA starts working with African American gangs and crack dealing.)
I suppose this is one of the origins of the YUPpie- a birthplace. Somehow that part of this culture, the corporate part is actually more mellow than back east. It seems almost desirable compared to the Hipster laden, gentrified 'revitalized' down town or Gaslamp area, which is in itself corporate owned.
Being out here, you get the feeling that corporate America is not all to blame for what is wrong with America. Its something else. Starbucks is what we now generalize as 'corporate culture' and we associate it with 'YUPpies' . Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, malls, The Gap, Ben and Jerry's...there is something distinctly different about those things than what is out here. Perhaps I just feel less threatened becuz theres alot of banking out here. Yet back east that also bugs me. There is something easy about working in the rat race here. Back east it is so damn status locked and so competitive- its just ugly. Ugliness covered up by a psuedo European beauty. Like Dallas I actually felt welcomed by some powers that be behind the money and companies here. Back east I am so hated, it makes existing difficult.
The horrid thing here is the way the homeless are mingled together with the worst kinds of mentally ill and criminals. Its really awful. There doesnt seem to be any sort of self policing or people breaking off into tribes like back east. In Cambridge if you cant behave and pull crap, you get thrown out of Harvard Sq. The cops know that which is why they leave people alone alot of the time. Here the cops dont get called enough and unlike back home there doesnt seem to be a paddy wagon with the white coats to take the crazies away.
The system seems totally disconnected to whats going on down here. The homeless live like medieval peasants. There is no kind of unity or solidarity among the homeless either to beat the system or to demand some respect for a certain group who perhaps does not want to live among the filth. Its not a good scene.
Its livable however as many blacks are more friendly and mellow than in other parts of the country, then again, the ones that arent have chimp outs of magnitude I have never seen in my life and hope to never see again. No one seems to have guns, just lots of fighting. Lots of male domination as well, women dont have any authority here like back east. Its not Celtic or Germanic or Italian in that way at all. Its Mexican, black and a bunch of poor whites who dont know who they are or where their ancestors are from. There are ALOT of blonde and red headed people out here, smallish, slim people who look alot like pioneer types from covered wagons in old movies. Perhaps only the smallish people survived the trip. They get very red from the Mex sun and all have beat red faces year round.
Its not a city where the homeless know how to live off the fat of the land if you will, like back east. They dont seem to form communities or carve out niches by force and then defend thier territory, with quiet back up from cops like in Cambridge. And the cops are always around Harvard. Here considering how violent and messed up this homeless ghetto is, there are not any cops on beats as there should be.
San Diego obviously wants this population and they want it the way it is- stoned, living in third world conditions and violent and very very kept down and ignorant. And VERY dependent on the system- giving people that live like this $900 a month to keep living like this from the state of CA when you claim your state is broke tells me there is a motive for that which must be quite compelling.
There are alot of kind people, that really remind you of the old perception of Cali from the 60's. But beware the damages from recent decades of politics and whatever else has caused this. Big Pharma is yet another contender for wanting this mess to exist.
Portions of this population could easily live in communities like the 60's but cultivating that is denied. WHY? Its as if subculture scenes are not allowed to exist here any longer. And like the rest of the geographic south western USA region, which this fits into- the services are faith based, further intimidating and brainwashing and controlling people into dependence on the system. Of course all faith based services get govt funding which is deceptive and a clashing of church and state I find disgusting. Its yet another way to ensure that people dont come together, becuz their god is there to handle things for you.
Well at least it replaces the CALI rep for producing dangerous cults I guess. Except for the ones that have alot of influence in this area, which are not goofy stupid cults either.
Church of Scientology, Satanists and the Navy all populate this area. Scientology being the worst. Though I like thier anti psychiatry stance. L Ron Hubbard's name is etched into some sidewalks and he was a Navy man. Also he broke away from his own creation so one wonders exactly who is behind the Scientology that is marketed to people.
2/15/10
Got punched by homeless woman after posting ongangstalking
After I posted today on ONGANGSTALKING a woman iwalked by right outside me coming up to the shelter entrance. She punched me in the right shoulder/chest area. I pulled my sunglassess off and my earphones out asked her "Are u out of your mind?". She then asked me for a quarter and said she was just trying to get my attention. In fight mode the staff comes out and handles me instead of calling the cops as they should have. TOTALLY unacceptable- first of all they should have nothing to say about what happens on city property, also if you are that concerned that you didnt see what happened and "all we see is you yelling at some woman in the street" then call the cops and stay inside. The reaction was not only manipulative but perhaps illegal due to them overstepping thier juristiction on city property. If the cops werew called instead of them just standing there talking about the woman as she came into the center that day and caused trouble, then perhaps this woman would have another piece of evidence against her to take her off the street.
The homeless scene here is designed to wear down fighters into a sense of comfort and its the best handling I have experienced yet. Obama would be very proud. Theo attitude is very snob based and the constant inference is that you dont matter as you are now of the lowest status as well as you were weak or unprotected enough to become homeless to begin with. Not a familiar attitude for a Bostonian thats for sure. I guess it takes going to Harvard to prove you are talented or have intelligence after being homeless. Notice the theme of that movie...Harvard is the only thing that impressess anyone.
What the system does not ever want to realize is that there are plenty of smart people and talent...this country hates poor people and it hates anything outside the system now. I dont believe there is any repairing of this attitude. Whatever happened in the 60's is irepairable now.
The one thing I especially did not like was trying to condemn me for my reaction to an obviously ridiculous affront and also then being snooty and manipulative. The older white woman from administration looked at the younger one trying to manipulate me and calm me down and said " I think she is doing a very good job". WTF?? Its about YOU? Give me a f*ckin break. Its like after 9 pm card games keeping clients awake becuz staff thinks its about them having a good time at work. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ITS ABOUT PROVIDING SERVICES TO HOMELESS WOMEN and that should mean sticking together not trying to handle people. These kinds of tactics only serve to make someone further dependent on the system by continuously taking power away from the homeless person. If I were them I would have called the police and either taken me inside or told me to wait outside till the cops arrive.
We are not children. I am sick and tired of that from the system. It is destroying my appetite for activism, that and the homeless being really dense out here or carefree. I know I am not going to last much longer here but I would have like to.
The hope is that the target will recall how bad the harassment was on the road and be conditioned to stay somewhere like this where people are nice and accepting of them. Its tempting but the self that is forming is not what I want to be. Besides, due to their being so many nutcases like that woman, the mainstream people here treat the homeless like lepers..I now see why.
http://homelessti.blogspot.com/2010/02/ending-homelessness.html
The homeless scene here is designed to wear down fighters into a sense of comfort and its the best handling I have experienced yet. Obama would be very proud. Theo attitude is very snob based and the constant inference is that you dont matter as you are now of the lowest status as well as you were weak or unprotected enough to become homeless to begin with. Not a familiar attitude for a Bostonian thats for sure. I guess it takes going to Harvard to prove you are talented or have intelligence after being homeless. Notice the theme of that movie...Harvard is the only thing that impressess anyone.
What the system does not ever want to realize is that there are plenty of smart people and talent...this country hates poor people and it hates anything outside the system now. I dont believe there is any repairing of this attitude. Whatever happened in the 60's is irepairable now.
The one thing I especially did not like was trying to condemn me for my reaction to an obviously ridiculous affront and also then being snooty and manipulative. The older white woman from administration looked at the younger one trying to manipulate me and calm me down and said " I think she is doing a very good job". WTF?? Its about YOU? Give me a f*ckin break. Its like after 9 pm card games keeping clients awake becuz staff thinks its about them having a good time at work. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ITS ABOUT PROVIDING SERVICES TO HOMELESS WOMEN and that should mean sticking together not trying to handle people. These kinds of tactics only serve to make someone further dependent on the system by continuously taking power away from the homeless person. If I were them I would have called the police and either taken me inside or told me to wait outside till the cops arrive.
We are not children. I am sick and tired of that from the system. It is destroying my appetite for activism, that and the homeless being really dense out here or carefree. I know I am not going to last much longer here but I would have like to.
The hope is that the target will recall how bad the harassment was on the road and be conditioned to stay somewhere like this where people are nice and accepting of them. Its tempting but the self that is forming is not what I want to be. Besides, due to their being so many nutcases like that woman, the mainstream people here treat the homeless like lepers..I now see why.
http://homelessti.blogspot.com/2010/02/ending-homelessness.html
Ending homelessness
I know I have posted about this before-look...at..this: http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oGky7xKHpLhAYB.DBXNyoA?p=end+homelessness&fr2=sb-top&fr=b2ie7&sao=1
You cant end a condition like curing a disease if you refuse to include a major cause of it existing. How are people going to 'end homelessness' (other than making it illegal or some such means), if they do not want to end one of the major causes of homelessness? This society like any other democracy will never admit to covert activities as they are deemed a necesary 'evil'. Also no one is even coming close to a concept of homelessness as nomadic lifestyle in humans. In fact I believe that re packaging houselessness as nomadic or even wild or ferrel and marketing the concept that way would be the financial suicide for non profits and the obvious attempts to constantly handle and control this population. Its a given that the sex offenders, violent offenders and anyone else who is a problem in any society who fits that description are people who one does not want camping out or unaccounted for making causing trouble easier. I am referring to the homeless who are not violent offenders. You may see a homeless person lose thier temper or defend themselves publically, this does not mean they are violent or mentally ill. It means the pressure is getting to them, it means the system is messing with them or keeping them down. This is why targets are mixed in with mentally ill and violent offenders, its to thier advantage and to thier detriment.
Often humans may benefit from going primitive or nomadic. It may be perfectly natural to survive.
As long as there is a 'dont ask dont tell' policy with targeted individuals you will never 'end homelessness'. If you cannot end gang stalking you cannot end homelessness. The only way to do this is to really harass this population until everyone accepts some mental illness diagnoses and gets medicated (not ending the harassment campaigns I assume) which then means a revolving door of re housing. What they are doing now is basically harassing the homeless into being out of sight out of mind which looks like the problem is being solved. There is perhaps a dent in homelessness due to better services now or housing but there are new homeless all the time due to young people hitting the streets as usual or people becoming homeless per circumstances.
Marginalizing, excluding and handling is the only way its working now. Having to answer the intake so they can get funding is always a joke and really humiliating as one can never tell the truth about one's situation on paper.
There needs to be a better grey area in our supposed civilized society. AND there needs to be a more firm approach to the homeless that do indeed ruin it for everyone else who are disruptive and such.
And handling the homeless like children is one of the most annoying things about shelters. It makes sleeping outside attractive to anyone who has fought the systems corruption to stay alive and sane.
You cant end a condition like curing a disease if you refuse to include a major cause of it existing. How are people going to 'end homelessness' (other than making it illegal or some such means), if they do not want to end one of the major causes of homelessness? This society like any other democracy will never admit to covert activities as they are deemed a necesary 'evil'. Also no one is even coming close to a concept of homelessness as nomadic lifestyle in humans. In fact I believe that re packaging houselessness as nomadic or even wild or ferrel and marketing the concept that way would be the financial suicide for non profits and the obvious attempts to constantly handle and control this population. Its a given that the sex offenders, violent offenders and anyone else who is a problem in any society who fits that description are people who one does not want camping out or unaccounted for making causing trouble easier. I am referring to the homeless who are not violent offenders. You may see a homeless person lose thier temper or defend themselves publically, this does not mean they are violent or mentally ill. It means the pressure is getting to them, it means the system is messing with them or keeping them down. This is why targets are mixed in with mentally ill and violent offenders, its to thier advantage and to thier detriment.
Often humans may benefit from going primitive or nomadic. It may be perfectly natural to survive.
As long as there is a 'dont ask dont tell' policy with targeted individuals you will never 'end homelessness'. If you cannot end gang stalking you cannot end homelessness. The only way to do this is to really harass this population until everyone accepts some mental illness diagnoses and gets medicated (not ending the harassment campaigns I assume) which then means a revolving door of re housing. What they are doing now is basically harassing the homeless into being out of sight out of mind which looks like the problem is being solved. There is perhaps a dent in homelessness due to better services now or housing but there are new homeless all the time due to young people hitting the streets as usual or people becoming homeless per circumstances.
Marginalizing, excluding and handling is the only way its working now. Having to answer the intake so they can get funding is always a joke and really humiliating as one can never tell the truth about one's situation on paper.
There needs to be a better grey area in our supposed civilized society. AND there needs to be a more firm approach to the homeless that do indeed ruin it for everyone else who are disruptive and such.
And handling the homeless like children is one of the most annoying things about shelters. It makes sleeping outside attractive to anyone who has fought the systems corruption to stay alive and sane.
2/13/10
A word about hostels
Comment left by reader:
" Hi there, __ was looking at this web site on International hostels and they have a membership that cost $ 28.00 year,I don't know How much it will cost with the total of buying it on line, so if what I donate isn't enough let me know."
A note on hostels:
Hostels are a wonderful concept. To make travel and exploration cheap and easy to learn about other cultures.
BUT as a TI you will only recieve large doses of harassment. From staff or guests or both. These places are a sure bet to get harassed or even worse. There have been human experimentation groups doing what can only be described as 'abductions' of targets in these places moreso during Bush and the heyday of the war. Supposedly one doesnt get removed but actually messed with right there on the premises by an entire group. If you are with someone ok but alone? All you can do is try the place out and if you know its an ok hostel allright then but you may not want to pay the price to find out. Like I said it might be better now that during the height of the war or if the system feels it's destroyed a target to the point of lowering intelligence or is now a non threat it may not be that dramatic, just some gangstalking might occur.
Places noted to have been sights of human experimentation or gang stalking by large groups staying at the hostel (where its obviously a group effort):
*Boston, MA- both hostels but the summer one seems safer (BU dorms are turned into hostel in summer, Commonwealth Ave)
*Phoenix, AZ
*St Louis, MO
These 3 locations are either extremely nasty due to organized stalk/harassment or horrible psychological warfare/ experimnetation has gone on there. St Louis might be the most dangerous for stalk/harass or trying to kill the TI but Boston is by far the most arrogant as well as worst for experimentation/psych warfare by a group.
All these places have the young kids in groups who seem to really hate the TI for no reason as well as have older members that reek of the kind of perp who is into kiddie rings or control over others somehow similar to that. Rich kids who seem to think the TI needs to be dumbed down as well as is perhaps a threat to the elite is very popular as well. Use your programming if you are a survivor or just play real dumb and observe/document what is happening while going through it....gather as much info as possible.
And get 'em later.
These are a cheap option for a target driven into being destitute, also you will meet people from other countries who think what is going on here is disgusting. IF you know how to sell your activism without looking insane or a whiner you can use meeting foriegners to not only broaden your view in relation to what is happening here but also let them know as well so they pass this on to other nations. You have GOT to know how to do this without it being annoying, connected to an activist group or being to overt. If you dont know how to sell things to people or seek out who wud by interested by talking to them first DONT try this. Every disinfo person involved in this pretends to be a TI who is of course off thier rocker and usually obsessive about the whole issue (as well as being an information hoarder "oh you have to read this about FEMA camps!!!" "Oh you have to read this about Magellans disease and aliens" those kinds of *ssholes that show up as TIs but you are wondering just how targeted they really are when they either turn on you or act like perps. Christine from Boston who keeps claiming to be part of FFCH is one of those people and its no wonder they dont want to associate with her if they are genuine at all. People like Christine get along famously with staff at all homeless services as well as seem to have lives. They also dont suffer from the same issues that being a victim of torture would cause. I have seen way to many of these people claiming to be TIs turn on me and they are the worst compared to anyone else who betrays a target. They are the lowest of the low. All they are is perps playing another role and it takes years of living throught this to NOT fall for being sucked into flame wars or anything else for that matter.
Many TIs have left behind massive works that are very valuable only to be discredited as "CIA plants" or other catch phrases to scare people off with no proof at all. Totally just brushed off after not only a life of suffering but then trying to get justice for oneself. This is the very meaning of "expendable mind controlled slave". You dont matter and the disinfo people are going to make sure you are as expendable as an activist as you were as a sex worker, courier or whatever you were programmed for. It also seems that certain kinds of slaves or people who share the same qualities or features (perhaps bloodlines or DNA pools) seem to suffer the same fate. It does not surprise me that a certain high profile survivor looks very much like my mother's family line especially stemming from my grandfather, and as a survivor she seems to have been just brushed off to the side by critics and slandered harder than the other survivors...she also seems to have the same ability for research that I do as well as leaving massive works behind free of charge that contain valuable info that other survivors do not seem to disclose of possess or even think of.
This is a clue that certain lines with specific abilities may be programmed for certain tasks but also reach the same demise.
The biggest mistake I saw this survivor engage in or become victim to was being sucked into flame wars.
DONT WASTE YOU TIME. Its been wasted enough already.
Every survivor has something valuable and credible about their story. Its just the whole thing is so confusing at certain points and the way one is harassed IS brainwashing. As usual we work as hard at activism as we did under mind control and that may be the whole diversion right there--make sure the survivors who woke up are kept busy.
" Hi there, __ was looking at this web site on International hostels and they have a membership that cost $ 28.00 year,I don't know How much it will cost with the total of buying it on line, so if what I donate isn't enough let me know."
A note on hostels:
Hostels are a wonderful concept. To make travel and exploration cheap and easy to learn about other cultures.
BUT as a TI you will only recieve large doses of harassment. From staff or guests or both. These places are a sure bet to get harassed or even worse. There have been human experimentation groups doing what can only be described as 'abductions' of targets in these places moreso during Bush and the heyday of the war. Supposedly one doesnt get removed but actually messed with right there on the premises by an entire group. If you are with someone ok but alone? All you can do is try the place out and if you know its an ok hostel allright then but you may not want to pay the price to find out. Like I said it might be better now that during the height of the war or if the system feels it's destroyed a target to the point of lowering intelligence or is now a non threat it may not be that dramatic, just some gangstalking might occur.
Places noted to have been sights of human experimentation or gang stalking by large groups staying at the hostel (where its obviously a group effort):
*Boston, MA- both hostels but the summer one seems safer (BU dorms are turned into hostel in summer, Commonwealth Ave)
*Phoenix, AZ
*St Louis, MO
These 3 locations are either extremely nasty due to organized stalk/harassment or horrible psychological warfare/ experimnetation has gone on there. St Louis might be the most dangerous for stalk/harass or trying to kill the TI but Boston is by far the most arrogant as well as worst for experimentation/psych warfare by a group.
All these places have the young kids in groups who seem to really hate the TI for no reason as well as have older members that reek of the kind of perp who is into kiddie rings or control over others somehow similar to that. Rich kids who seem to think the TI needs to be dumbed down as well as is perhaps a threat to the elite is very popular as well. Use your programming if you are a survivor or just play real dumb and observe/document what is happening while going through it....gather as much info as possible.
And get 'em later.
These are a cheap option for a target driven into being destitute, also you will meet people from other countries who think what is going on here is disgusting. IF you know how to sell your activism without looking insane or a whiner you can use meeting foriegners to not only broaden your view in relation to what is happening here but also let them know as well so they pass this on to other nations. You have GOT to know how to do this without it being annoying, connected to an activist group or being to overt. If you dont know how to sell things to people or seek out who wud by interested by talking to them first DONT try this. Every disinfo person involved in this pretends to be a TI who is of course off thier rocker and usually obsessive about the whole issue (as well as being an information hoarder "oh you have to read this about FEMA camps!!!" "Oh you have to read this about Magellans disease and aliens" those kinds of *ssholes that show up as TIs but you are wondering just how targeted they really are when they either turn on you or act like perps. Christine from Boston who keeps claiming to be part of FFCH is one of those people and its no wonder they dont want to associate with her if they are genuine at all. People like Christine get along famously with staff at all homeless services as well as seem to have lives. They also dont suffer from the same issues that being a victim of torture would cause. I have seen way to many of these people claiming to be TIs turn on me and they are the worst compared to anyone else who betrays a target. They are the lowest of the low. All they are is perps playing another role and it takes years of living throught this to NOT fall for being sucked into flame wars or anything else for that matter.
Many TIs have left behind massive works that are very valuable only to be discredited as "CIA plants" or other catch phrases to scare people off with no proof at all. Totally just brushed off after not only a life of suffering but then trying to get justice for oneself. This is the very meaning of "expendable mind controlled slave". You dont matter and the disinfo people are going to make sure you are as expendable as an activist as you were as a sex worker, courier or whatever you were programmed for. It also seems that certain kinds of slaves or people who share the same qualities or features (perhaps bloodlines or DNA pools) seem to suffer the same fate. It does not surprise me that a certain high profile survivor looks very much like my mother's family line especially stemming from my grandfather, and as a survivor she seems to have been just brushed off to the side by critics and slandered harder than the other survivors...she also seems to have the same ability for research that I do as well as leaving massive works behind free of charge that contain valuable info that other survivors do not seem to disclose of possess or even think of.
This is a clue that certain lines with specific abilities may be programmed for certain tasks but also reach the same demise.
The biggest mistake I saw this survivor engage in or become victim to was being sucked into flame wars.
DONT WASTE YOU TIME. Its been wasted enough already.
Every survivor has something valuable and credible about their story. Its just the whole thing is so confusing at certain points and the way one is harassed IS brainwashing. As usual we work as hard at activism as we did under mind control and that may be the whole diversion right there--make sure the survivors who woke up are kept busy.